Don't Kill the Messenger

Don't Kill The Messenger  Eileen Rendahl

Paperback: 336 pages

Publisher: Berkley Trade; Original edition (March 2, 2010)

Dark Faerie Tales UF reading Challenge #3 

Melina Markowitz is not your ordinary girl. She's hospital clerical clerk by night, and a delivery girl for the paranormal by day. She is an Arcane( Cane) in a Mundane ( Dane) world due to a life altering accident as a toddler. Or as she puts it....
 " Three-year-old me decides to take a quick dip in the cool, refreshing pool with out telling my  mama and I end up with a crappy job toting and carrying for werewolves, vampires, skinwalkers ,and the occasional chupacabra."
 It's tough to be the middle girl when you don't feel you belong in either world, but someone has to do it. Plus she has her OTHER side job of teaching martial arts in the local dojo. It is her true home and happiness.
 The downside of working the paranormal delivery circuit is there is no room for error or you could literally become someones lunch or plaything. So when men in ninja attire fall out of a tree, give Melina a bloody lip, and steal her envelope in mid delivery she knows she needs to recover it fast.
Now Messenger turned P.I, Melina follows the ninja trail to a Taoist temple, where they not only plant beautiful zen gardens but ravenous talisman controlled Chinese vampires known as kiang shi.The kiang shi are tearing gang members limb to limb, intent on collapsing all gang and turf infrastructure for their own evil agendas.
 As it normally goes in nosy girl protagonist stories Melina is caught in many wrong places, at many wrong times. Her snooping catches the eye and possibly heart of Officer Ted Goodnight. She quickly tries to push him away to protect her own heart and his life.
 As more innocent victims fill the ER during Melina's shifts ,and her fellow Canes remain stubbornly neutral, she strikes out on her own to get answers . She is blindsided by heartbreaking circumstances, and learns the lonesome middle is longer a place to hide. It is time to trust people and take a stance for her city.
 Some of the one liners in this book had me laughing out loud, and then in the same hand the depth of Melina's feelings of isolation really struck a cord with me. Rendahl's wide arc of human emotion made this story not as super predictable as most. That was a nice factor, even when Melina was being a brat. :)

3.5 out of 5 wooden stakes

Dark Oracle

Dark Oracle - Mass Market Paperback (May 25, 2010) by Alayna Williams

Dark Faerie Tales UF Reading Challenge Book #2

I try to never start a book with preconceived notions, but when I picked up Dark Oracle ,as my next in line for DFT UF reading challenge , I have to admit I was NOT feeling much enthusiasm for the book. Why, you ask?? The thing is I couldn't even tell you why! In fact Dr. Tara Sheridan,the protagonist, and I have a lot in common. We both attended college to become FBI profilers, and we both enjoy observing and reading people. We were also both raised around Tarot cards. Where I did not continue the the family trait of Tarot divination, Tara did and used in her former profession until she was brutally attacked by a serial killer she was hunting.

 The opening chapter introduces you to Dr. Sheridan, now a recluse after her savage ordeal. She is skittish and even seems to shy away from readers. By Chapter 3 you start to see glimmers of how complex,independent, and highly intelligent this book and it's characters are...and that's when I realized preconceived be damned.

 Tara is asked to leave her safe haven by an ancient secret society, the Delphi's Daughters, and use her natural talents to locate a missing scientist, Lowell Magnusson.  She grudgingly accepts knowing it is the right thing to do despite her bitter, mistrustful past dealings with the Delphi's Daughters. Soon she realizes the situation is bigger then just one missing scientist. Magnusson has discovered a scientific breakthrough that governments would kill to acquire. Side by side with skeptic Agent Harry Li, it is a race to unlock the mysteries of science, life, and personal healing, all while protecting Magnusson's daughter, Cassie.

 The more Tara uses her cards for guidance , the more she realizes how much danger they are all in. With enemies attacking from every angle and Tara's traumatic past intertwined with it all, she only hopes she doesn't fail Cassie.

  Williams, aka UF author Laura Bickle, reads like  Criminal Minds meets Richard Condon meets Medium. It definitely did not read like a typical UF, and sometimes it did get bogged down in the extreme divination interpretation details, but surprisingly I liked it.

 I also enjoyed the fact that I didn't have to shoot Stephen Hawking a tweet to understand the mind blowing scientific end of it. I am sure he appreciates that fact also.

 I am very curious to read the next installment to see how the characters will develop.

3.5 out of 5 wooden stakes v~v

Spider's Bite An Elemental Assassins Book

Spider's Bite (Elemental Assassin, Book 1) - Mass Market Paperback (Jan. 26, 2010) by Jennifer Estep
Dark Faerie Tale UF Reading Challenge Book #1

"My name is Gin and I kill people" with an opening line like that you know you are in for a killer ride....no pun intended.
 Gin Blanco is The Spider. An assassin that is only spoken about in whispers. She is an Elemental that can control and manipulate stone and has a touch of ice magic, too. Her obstinate, self sufficient ways dictate that she never uses her gifts for her profession, outside of making the occasional, untraceable knife.
 Gin soon has to play the game herself when her handler/mentor is brutally murdered on a horrific attempt to double cross her.  Running on pure anger instead of her usual cold calculation, her world is turned upside down.  Hellbent on revenge makes her join forces with a "hottie" cop, Donovan Caine,who only views the world in black and white and can not accept the grey world through Gin's eyes. Caine grudgingly agrees to help for this case and this case alone, despite the conflict that The Spider assassinated his dirty cop partner.
 From opening page to dramatic ending The Spider weaves her tale, entangling you, barely giving you a chance to come up for air.
 Gin is a tough, kick ass girl with a complex history full of missing puzzle pieces. She fights having "human emotions" and tries to ignore the events of her past that existed before she became The Spider. It is an impossible task. Her hands carry the physical scars that remind her, and are ultimately responsible for her deadly alias.  I absolutely love her and secretly want to be her. As she races to save other people ( which is soooooooo not her job) you will find yourself loving the bad girl assassin , and cheering for her all the way.
 Jennifer Estep is a welcome new voice in my world of urban fantasy and really makes me want to reconsider my childhood dream ....my apprenticeship to assassin school. Hmmmmm, it's never too late.

5 out of 5 wooden stakes v~v

Dark Faerie Tale Madness

Ok, I have to admit the stress of life has pushed my natural insanity boundaries to the point of no return. The proof in this is I have just jumped on board of a hosted reading challenge (INSERT DARK FAERIE TALES PLUG HERE!!! :) that only has a month left. I am, OF COURSE, completely excited out of my mind to read 15 debut UF books in this short period of time.Those who know my reading abilities may think this is no sweat, but helllooo holidays, that thing called life,work....I am certifiable!!!Hopefully, Dark Faerie Tales will give me mad props for my endeavor. Stay tuned!!! muhahahahahah

I will take things that suck for $100,Alex." ....An E! rant

So, the demon spawn and I were flipping through channels and stopped on E! because "Top 10 Vampires We Love" was just starting.
Let me begin this rant with I'm NOT anti-Twilight BUT COME ON!!!!!!
There are quite a few vampiric charmers out there BESIDES anything spawned from Stephanie Meyers.
I'm beginning to think if she crapped out something that looked like Sloth from Goonies and had the mentality of  the Jersey Shore cast it would have been considered for this mockery of a list.
They had a few decent mentions among their numbers,like Seline from Underworld,and Eric Northman from True Blood, but how can we gloss over the most important vampire icons that existed before Twilight was even an embryo in SM's head???

#1 David from the Lost Boys played by a very yummy Kiefer Sutherland. "Maggots, Michael, you're eating maggots. How do they taste??" Do I need to say more? I think not.
#2 SPIKE FROM BUFFY (James Marsters) Ya, ya, I know what you are thinking, I apparently have a platinum spiky haired vampire fetish. Naaa, he just was way more chompable then Angel.
#3 Louis and Claudia anyone?? Or is that just me? And we all know we would love to see the outcome of a Claudia and Jane epic battle.
#4 Barnaby Collins...really that's all I really have to say there.
#5 Bela Lugosi and Gary Oldman, representing the big D himself!!

Now as much as I would like to add the literary versions to the list, I stuck to film and TV as not to completely rip E! to shreds. I have to give it some love as it houses my Joel McHale. V~V

DISCLAIMER*** YES THE AUTHOR OF THIS POST IS BITTER AFTER SUFFERING SEVERE MENTAL RAGE THAT THE TEENAGE KIDS, WHO WOULD NAME CALL AND NOT STEP FOOT INSIDE HER PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT FOR FEAR OF ALL THINGS DIFFERENT OR RUN SCREAMING FROM HER IN DARK ALLEYS, ALL OF A SUDDEN THOUGHT VAMPIRES WERE COOL BECAUSE A PSEUDO TEENAGE HEARTTHROB PLAYED ONE IN A MOVIE.

"These aren't vampires,man. These are douche bags." Dean Winchester

excuses,excuse

Just a quick lil note during my looooooong absense. Been closing chapters in one saga of my life to be able to come back to this epic saga, which I am most fulfilled at....I have tons more reviews to post & rants to write.
I would like to give a shoutout to a certain someone who gave me that extra little push to get back here & post this. HIDE YO' KIDS!!
Be seeing y'all soon. chomp chomp. v~v

There was a curse. There was a girl. And in the end there was a grave.

With that tag line how can you NOT want to pick up Beautiful Creatures By Kami Garcia & Margaret Stohl.

Beautiful Creatures is a haunting symphony of words that resonates to your very core whether you are a lover, a poet, a freak or just plain normal.

Ethan Wate is your not so typical jock, who hides his love for reading along with his books under his bed. In the small southern town of Gatlin County, Georgia everyone knows your secrets and outsiders are not welcome. Ethan wants his life to be more then this town. Another secret that he hides,because he is afraid his dad will not be able to cope with it. His father, a writer, never leaves his study and is teetering on the brink of full blown insanity brought on by the death of Ethan's mother.

Ethan is beginning to feel he is fated to be insane also. Every night he dreams that he is trying to save a girl drowning in the thick ,black, muddy swamps of the south.He hangs on to her wrist with all of his might but every night she is slips out of his grip. When he wakes he finds dirt under his fingernails and he is soaking wet...with swamp water. Chalk it up to ANOTHER secret he has to keep.
At school at least he can pretend to be normal, until the girl from his dreams transfers to high school, sporting the half moon imprints of Ethan's fingernails on her wrist.
Lena Duchannes is a loner who has moved in with her Uncle Macon, the Boo Radley of the town. She is gorgeous, mysterious, plagued by curse and failing miserably at trying to keep her supernatural powers a secret. Those are reasons for the students at Jackson High to hate her and they do.
Despite the threats from his fellow jocks and Lena's cold shoulder , Ethan can't help but be drawn to the girl that has been haunting his dreams.
Together they find their fates are entwined far beyond the possibilities of their wildest imaginations.
As Ethan and Lena's connection grows stronger so does Ethan's desire to prove that he can break the curse of Lena'a impending ill fate.
Against all odds and a towns debilitating prejudice, a fight to the finish seems to be in their stars.
Reading this book I was instantly transported to Gatlin County and its decaying plantations. I could feel the tragic ghosts of the Civil War brush their cold fingers down my spine. I could not put the book down and honestly watch out Edward and Bella..because Ethan and Lena's bond has way more to back it up.
I HIGHLY recommend this to all Twilight fans who are suffering from withdrawals BUT STOP!!! YOU ANTI-TWILIGHT PEOPLE DO NOT RUN AWAY SCREAMING YET..This is a well crafted star crossed lover story that continues to carry through the centuries. Can anyone say Montague and Capulet???
Unlike Romeo and Juliet this story ends with a chance that there can be a sequel. I'm not one who is a huge fan of "love" stories but this tale of cursed love was one that swept me away.

4.5 out of 5 wooden stakes v~v